I cockslap morals
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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