Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't think brook has ever known best
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
