Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pants are for mortals
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
