Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
