woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize