so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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