so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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