Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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