worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And then he peed in my hair
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
