This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
