There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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