Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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