He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
