a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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