apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
