Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
