please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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