we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
