Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
