What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize