Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
