walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
