4 words: hood of his car
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize