hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize