420 ftw
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
