if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize