It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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