When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
