Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
