if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
