He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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