so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
