Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
