I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
