How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
