if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
babies were throwing up all over the place
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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