I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
