I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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