Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
