dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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