he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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