well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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