This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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