I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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