Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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