Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's rum buckets o'clock
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
