He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize