We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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