I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize