my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
