I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
