you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
