If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
