Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
