i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
