I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
