More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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