Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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