she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
