This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
