GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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