I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
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