i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can Purell be used as lube?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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