im six kinds of drunk right now
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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