I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
