It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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