once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
