this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
